Why is self-care important?
Busy parents and caregivers often get so caught up in everyday life that they forget their own health needs. This leads to higher incidents of anxiety, depression and burnout along with illness and diseases such as long-term undiagnosed cancers. Self-care is about being the “healthiest you.” It includes everything needed to help you stay physically and mentally healthy. When you are the “healthiest you,” you are able to take care of others in your life, do your job, and accomplish daily tasks. Self-care leads to better time and stress management and increases the ability to cope with anxiety and depression. To sum it up, self-care is when you take the necessary steps to Remember You and taking care of yourself to the best of your ability.
What self-care is not
You’re having a stressful day. You have four virtual work calls all scheduled before lunchtime. Your youngest child is sick, causing you to switch gears to work from home. The laundry needs to be done. There’s nothing on the agenda for dinner and you need to figure out how to get child number two to soccer practice and child number one to the band jamboree sand both events start at the same time. To top it off, your father fell last night and is in the hospital and you need to coordinate his care. You feel the world balancing on your shoulders, and you just want to run away and hide. You become paralyzed from it all and decide to have a cup of coffee and shop online for some “retail therapy.” You purchase a few things for yourself and spend just over $200. You charged it on the credit card because you didn’t really have the extra monies to shop with. But you needed “retail therapy” to feel better.
That is NOT self-care. That is self-indulgence.
What is self-care?
There are various categories of self-care, but most will fit into two buckets: physical self-care and emotional self-care.
Physical self-care is when you incorporate an exercise routine, keep your vaccines up to date, go to your annual healthcare appointments, do your best to get adequate sleep, and eating healthier. When we get busy, we tend to forget about our own needs and health. We ignore that twinge and pain in our bodies and say, “I don’t have time to go to a doctor appointment.” This thought process is a dangerous one. As the family caregiver, you must Remember You!
Emotional self-care is what you can do to improve your mental wellbeing. Learning how to say “no” to things that will cause unnecessary stress – do you need to volunteer again to make cookies for another bake sale? Taking a moment for some reading or meditation during the day. Seeking some “quiet time” to just breathe. Giving yourself some brief transition time at a coffee shop between leaving the office and picking up the kids. Seeking professional counsel to learn healthy coping habits. Walking with friends who you can talk about things with. These are all examples of emotional self-care.
Start a self-care routine
Psychologist Matthew Sacco, PhD, shared the S.M.A.R.T. concept for starting a self-care routine in an article from the Cleveland Clinic. The S.M.A.R.T. concept is:
- Specific: Identify the details about your goals.
- Measurable: Decide how progress will be measured.
- Achievable: Set realistic goals.
- Relevant: The change will make a difference.
- Time-bound: Set a realistic timeframe.
Part of this implementation can be replacing bad habits and routines with healthier ones. Start with one or two goals and build from there. The takeaway is that you start a routine that improves your health and that you – Remember You!
